life is extremely crazy if you ask me but i'm sure you know that already though but i am sitting here thinking about all the hell and shit i have put my parents through the last pass 28 years and i feel like yeah at times they did piss me off but out of all that i feel what i did in my life i brought it on myself and i am starting to see why me and mom are so distant because one thing is that every time she would give me ad vice i would go and cling to my father which is not right i should have at least sat and talked it out with her and ask questions to get a better understanding of why it is the way it is but i don't i cop an attitude like a child an storm off and that not cool my mother as told me that if i had anything to talk to her tell her but my thing is if she does not have the time to here me or "WHAT SHE THINKS" i have to say and she should be the one to talk to in any given time . to be continued

i do have a problem is the first thing i would like to admit my thing is taking from the ones who love me the most yes i do steal and i do have a problem with it i do struggle with this i don't care to admit it all i have taking things so much that it has not just became a habit it has become a problem and i feel that i need to seek help because its my mother that i am taking things from and it crazy she has done all she can for me and know she hates me for it because its like that's the way i re pay her is to steal who am i to do this to some who gave me life carried me for nine months she does not owe me a damn thing here i am cutting open scars that won't heal unless i  let them some of them  may need stitches because there bigger than may appear and instead of healing the scares that are already there i keep cutting more scars or poring salt on the ones that are already there is how i really  feel and its like i don't give a fuck or have remorse for the shit i have and is still putting her through till this day this is the part of me i hate the i don't give a fuck part that has this built up anger toward a woman that has not only showed me love but has been through a lot with me growing up i write things down because its hard for me to say what i need to say word of mouth but here it is .