I know I have somethings to work on in my life who doesn't though I have some access baggage that i am a still dragging along like yes i consider myself a child at heart but at times my childish side gets the better half of me making any good judgments that I should make and at times it does plague me to were my mind at times takes over even though my heart is saying that its a bad idea and I know its bad idea but i end up going with what my heart said's is right my thing is I battle with myself constantly and with that i am always at war and I am sitting here thinking to my self why does it or why do I have to be this way i love my child like nature but I still feel like its time for me to grow up and face reality that I am not that little girl i once was i do love me for being me but the choices i make and at time how I go along with those so called choices is to me crazy why is this a constant battle between the good and evil within me why is it that I have a problem with this why do I let my bad often over power my good most or all of the time I was telling every one that I really  

need help and it seems to me that they just blow it off and i don't like that when you know there is something wrong with you you don't sit back and let it continue you seek the help that you need to resolve the matters at hand and i feel if whats i have to do then so be it because i am tired of living with this guilt with the pain that I have not only  brought on my self but to those around me I seem like i am doing good for my self by going to school getting my education and doing some thing better with my self than what I have been doing but how can i cause myself to move on or let go  if I still have so much hanging over my head or so many skeletons in my closet I know i am not perfect and i don't strive for neither but what i do strive for is a piece of mind some relief from all the weight on my shoulders the possibility to think with a clear head and not a guilty mind i want that feeling of being ashamed or being judged for not just who I am or what I do to go away and stay away that why I feel i need help I am tired of my worst half getting the best of better half and it being a constant battle of good vs evil .