I have thinking about a lot things lately lie reevaluating my life and the way I do things like one thing I do think about is this why do I talk about my sister like a dog but I am always in her face laughing with her and her knowing that how I feel about her still remains yes she does frustrate me like crazy and it like if you have a problem with me tell me but I know she won't I will just continue to be the but of her jokes like usual I may not like but it what can I do I can try to to tell her how I feel but knowing her she won't care because to me she is not that touchy person how to talk to someone when you know there heart seems harden for what ever reason I have my own things to work on I know like the way I am with people or even or act toward people including my own family because I feel like I am distant from them and I feel that way because of how I act around them for example its the way I am so disrespectful towards them I say my little things I say  when I get angry or upset but I shouldn't get so up set that i call my mother a bitch at times that's or what have you or say what any harsh about her or any one I sit up there talking like I am the victim when I know I am also part of the problem or that situation so why should I keep continuing to act like I am not the problem when in actuality I am if I didn't act like its all about me all the times and actually and open my eyes and see the big picture and to know and realize that there are other people involved that are effected by my actions and things I say or do but I am to busy stuck in la la land and not reality I need to learn to grow and understand as an adult because right know I am still in childish mode to afraid to face the truth about not just life but about my self deeply that's why I feel at times I feel so alone because that's how I feel the way I am headed if I don't own up to the mistakes that I have made ....