its crazy how i always manage to mess every thing up in my life time like taking things to the point no one wants me around any more and i wonder why people stay distant from me because of  my bad habits and i am starting to see why now and there is no excuse for what i do it inexcusable me knowing idled hands are the devils dirty work that i do understand that but why does my heart and head have this constant battle between each other my heart said what right but my head for ever leads me astray i know right from wrong so if that the case why am i like this they say if you do something over and over the its no longer a habit it be comes a problem and a i am ready to admit that i do have a problem in life in taking things what ever and i feel i need to get help because it has been going for to long i have been arrested two time over the dumb stuff 

i should think that would have taught me lesson by now but i am still on the same dumb shit and worst when someone confronts me about it i lie and say anything even  though they already know what i have done i don't think i know who i am any more it seems like i have jacked my life to the point were if look in the mirror i do know the person looking back at me not at all and the constant questions i have to ask my self who am i what have i become why have i become this and when will it end does it end thinking about it i hate who iv'e become and why should i keep living like this i am not a person i am a shell of my once former self and do need help i do i say this because it has gone to far i do not like who i have become+.